"Autism" Why does it exist?
From the perspective of a mom who has a very special son with extreme(to say the least) challenges in behavior and communication . A mom who has been down this road for almost a decade .......
A recent pic of my little Richie and I
I believe our children with Autism are incredible powerful little beings sent to us to create the change on the planet we need right now, and we as the chosen moms have been given an incredible mission not only to raise these beautiful children but to learn things most people will never even begin to understand so that we can awaken to build movements that will make the planet a more loving and beautiful place
~Maria Martin~
Let me bring you into the darkness but just for a little while so I can show you the light ......
Autism hit me and took me to a place of darkness that is unimaginable .. It was very different in Richie's case because he developed typically until he was 3 years and 9 months old . He was talking in paragraphs and could hold a complete conversation with any adult .. He was taking martial arts ... In preschool ... I was working in a job I loved ... We had just bought our house ... Life was pretty wonderful .. One day he began talking funny so I brought him to the Pedi. They said kids do stuff like that he's fine ... But I just knew that wasn't true, and I kept taking him until finally in just a few short weeks he was gone . He could no longer speak, no longer look at us in the eye and had no idea we were there .. He lost motor skills and had trouble with even a few stairs . Our little boy was gone and we had no idea where to turn or what to do... (It's a True and twisted death) Then came the word Autism ... Childhood Disintegrative Disorder (which he ended up being misdiagnosed with. (so for 2 years we thought , because the doctors told us he would basically only get worse until he died )
Later in Boston at Children's Hospital he was diagnosed with severe Autism (Which we Celebrated ). Meanwhile we were in an abyss of lonely, isolated darkness .... living a life almost no one could ever understand ..... I had people say it was no big deal , he will be fine ... most just kind of ignored it in general . Maybe because it was to hard from them to deal with ... Then a diagnosis of Epilepsy , Pica , sensory challenges .... I was on the go every moment .. researching into the the night endlessly ... constantly battling with my husband (bad bad bad battling ) we were both in such unimaginable loss and pain and that I guess was a coping mechanism of sorts .... Terrified of the future , soooooo terrified .... The sleep deprivation ( I slept in a period of 8.5 years about 3-4 hours a night ) The stares ..... The isolation ... Did I mention the isolation ... to this day there are people in my life who still have absolutely no clue ..... Our every second revolved around keeping our little man alive ..... getting him to therapy, speech , doctors appointments ... Two other children including a newborn baby who were without a mom .... sooooooo far in it , so deep , so sad, so scared , so alone , so isolated ..... financial ruins and worry on top of it all , night after night after night .... I spent my days , keeping his pants on , cleaning poop (typically 3 hours a day ) he ran around spilling one thing after the other all day long ... there is no break ... no social life .. cant possibly have company it's so bad ... isolated from the world...It's an insane life people couldn't ever imagine . Even my husband didn't fully get it because he was at work most of the time and when he would come home , ( almost right up until the very end before Richie went into the hospital) and Richie would act completely differently ... He was so bad behaviorally they kicked him out of school for several months and several times ... A whole school couldn't handle him but I could alone ?
This went on relentlessly for 8.5 years straight . All of those years it was just my husband, daughter, (the first 4 years until college) my mom and I doing the actual physical care for Richie along with a teacher here and there for a couple hours and even then it was me and the teacher keeping him alive and no down time for me .. People would think it's sad and then say everyone has problems bahahaha (if they only knew what a real problem was) but seriously Autism is not a ticket out of the rest of life ! Autism is in addition to all that! We have all those same problems plus the Autism ..You cannot compare Autism to other childhood illnesses . The mind is everything and that's what these children are missing (and then the mom looses hers too!)
Then the last year and half that he was in a hospital 2 hours away from us for three months and then finally a residential placement 2 hours away .. (my biggest fear) We lost him yet again ... There is so much more but you get the picture ... This is not just my story ....... It is only by God's grace I am still here and right now everything is okay. This is exactly why we are hearing about all the Autism moms cracking and terrible things happening ... No one truly understands , they reach out for help and don't get it .... These things if something is not done are simply going to be normal everyday occurrences .....
And then came the light and the awakening ..........
One day I was tying my little man's shoes and had to stand back up because I couldn't breath .. (tying his shoes is not just like tying a kids shoes lol it's a get the shoe on marathon ) and suddenly I had an epiphany .... Here I was 205 pounds .. so unhealthy to say the least, so unhappy with myself .... wait who the hell was I ? I had absolutely no clue .... I had the most unbelievable amount of stress from being an regular mommy, autism mommy , wife, homeowner , lack of finances , and to top it off I laid in bed (all 3 hours lol) and was so sad at the condition I found myself in .. I knew Richie was getting bigger, stronger, and faster by the minute .. Look at me .. How in the world did I think I would be able to do what I needed to do and in the condition I was in?
...... THIS WAS THE MOMENT I FIRST REALIZED HOW TRUE THAT STATEMENT WAS THAT YOU NEED TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST, I GOT IT
.... I would never be able to take care of my family being sick, overweight, depressed, and exhausted .. Putting me last is putting them last ....This realization saved my life...
And in the midst of complete and udder chaos I began my Journey
I could be sad every minute , I could stay the way I am and who could blame me? or I could choose to be positive, happy, and healthy despite my situation ... I could keep thinking about what happened and why us ? Over and Over and Over again .... Or I could choose to just move forward ...
I began an Incredible self development Journey , reading books, learning about mindset, positive thinking, health and surrounding myself both on the internet (following amazing entrepreneurs who are making a positive change in the world) and in person through events . People who thought very differently about life than most .
I did a million hours of health research and implemented what I learned with astounding results ! I was able to eliminate every health issue I ever had through diet ... I learned exactly how powerful raw foods can be . I healed Richie's tummy so he was no longer on Myralax (which he was on from 18 months old until 2 years ago! ) My husband had astounding health results as well .
Here is a list of things I no longer have to worry about or feel:
Migraines (completely vanished )
IBS (I had all of my adult life , vanished)
Menstrual cramps and mood swings ( 98% gone)
55 Pounds of extra weight (gone , never to return )
My skin
Completely transformed . (was never too bad but I had a lot of pimples and dry areas that I longer deal with and I look like I am using some kind of miracle face cream compared to before )
My finger and toe nails
This was one of the most amazing experiences . they were so bad and brittle my toe nails weren't even staying together and I couldn't even hide it with polish . My nails I had to cover with gel nails because they were so bad.
Hemorrhoids
Yes that is nasty and TMI but real and I wanted to share in case there is someone out there suffering . (and I know there is or there would be no preparation H) I had them since my oldest daughter was born 23 years ago and badly . It's an awful thing to suffer from (COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED !!!!)
Back Injury
I had a back injury that left me in so much pain I couldn't sleep . I had therapy that never helped . I ended up in the E.R because I couldn't stand up straight and they would give me pain meds and muscle relaxers for . (completely gone!!!!)
General aches and pains
I had constant aches and pains and was always taking motrin etc. (GONE !!)
Depression
I suffered from very severe and constant depression which effected my life in so many countless negative ways and is difficult dealing with something most people just don't understand . ( I'm happy to report I have some occasional down days but that's about 80-90% gone as well!!)
Constant Exhaustion
( I rarely experience it now )
My mind is so much clearer now and its easier to make decisions
It's much harder to be in a bad mood when you feel amazing every day!
When you are healthy Mind, Body, and Soul you see everything in your existence from a different perspective .... You see food and what it can do to change your life in a different perspective ...
How do you think I feel now ?
How do you think this effects me in every area of my life ?
Coming out of this experience and learning what I have learned about , health, happiness, spirit, mindset, the food system in our country , the toxins in everything that goes in our body , vaccines, the subconscious mind , the toxins in the very food we eat, in all of of medicines , absolutely everything !
And then we are surprised that autism, obesity , cancer, heart disease , asthma , and every stinkin other disease on the planet exists ? There are foundations raising money for cures of the very things we cause ? This is just not OK at ALL! It's a circle of insanity!
Then we have society trying to make us want to be SKINNY (Instead of True Health) so we have boatloads of companies trying to sell food, shakes , supplements and all kinds of band aids (which are full of cancer causing toxins and msg even the ones that claim to be healthier ) Reality : We have that stuff on every corner and in our facebook newsfeeds, magazines , T.V. everywhere we turn and yet our problems with health are deteriorating at record speed ...
So with all of that being said which was a lot I truly believe Our creator brought Autism into our lives for a mega wake-up call!!!! We decided to destroy the planet and clearly need a kick in the ass ......
I believe as autism moms we have been chosen for a very special mission to bring this into the light ... to spread light...to create change on the planet ... A huge shift .. If Autism had not come into my life I can't imagine where I'd be now ....I never would have done what I have done ...We understand things that many other humans may never understand and we need to bring that into the world .... we get it .... we get life ...
I believe the world is an amazing place, and
I believe together as women we can shift the negative into the positive to create a significant change on the planet ...
I have said on the days I was scrubbing the nastiest poop ever out of my sons carpet as I was in tears thinking no one should ever have to live like this ..... One day I am going to do something for the moms ... To heal the moms.. We desperately need to take care of the moms !!! I will take care of the moms!!! One day when I finally truly get the help I need to have some kind of normalcy I will help the moms ! This help came almost a decade later but it came! It is finally here after I have been through one hell of a healing process since my little man has been in residential care ..
Here is my blog
and so it begins .......................
I had started this blog I think about 6 months back and took a little break while I was healing and contemplating what to do. I want to use it as a platform to highlight Autism moms who are making a huge difference on the planet despite their circumstances . I want it to be inspiration for Autism moms all over .
One of the things that has driven me to keep going is making sure I get constant inspiration and the fact I have a huge purpose and dream coming out of all of this .....
If you know or are an Autism Mom who is doing something amazing please contact me and share . I would love to feature Autism Mom business owners sharing amazing things with the world !
Through my Journey I have created an entire business to help moms and Autism moms become the healthy and true selves they long to be so they can take care of their family and stay true to themselves while becoming an entrepreneur on their own schedule (this is a must for an Autism Mom) and contributing significantly to their families income.... without having gone through this Journey this wouldn't exist ...... You can check it all out above !
I promise you no matter how dark it seems or how long it takes there is light !!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxo Maria
Contact me at : Maria@mariaannmartin.com
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